Spring cleaning doesn't only apply to your home or the
things around you'it also applies to your life, and the
people you surround yourself with. Have you ever felt
drained after spending time around a certain friend? You
feel like you're walking on eggshells trying to cater to their
ever changing mood. For the most part, you have to explain
your actions to them so they can understand your good
intentions. Sometimes, they say they understand how you
feel, but yet, their actions conflict with their words. And other
times, they show up to give you something, only to leave
with taking something more in return. Whether or not their
behavior is deliberate, you feel tired when they're around,
and most days, even after they leave. Could it be that this
friendship requires more care and maintenance than you
are prepared to give?
The friends you surround yourself with can make or break
your health, happiness, family and career. Some of you
might assume that the longer the duration of the friendship,
the better the friend. That's not necessarily true. Some
friendships can be like fine wine"growing in richness with
time"and some, just aren't meant to have a very long shelf
life. Recognize that regardless of the duration of the
friendship, if it's an unhealthy friendship, it can act like a
road block in your life, preventing you from moving ahead to
where you want to go. And if you allow any unhealthy or
unfulfilling friendships to continue, you could be sacrificing
your own well being.
It can be hard to admit it's time to say goodbye to a friend,
even when their behavior warrants it. While betrayal or
seemingly deliberate attempts to be hurtful are clear signals
that it's time to part ways, sometimes the signal of the end
of a friendship isn't that obvious. This is where you have to
use your better judgement and clearly decide, Are you
positioning yourself in a healthy situation if you continue to
put time and energy into this friendship?
If after a fair amount of consideration, you feel strongly about
staying friends with this person, then assertively
communicate with them about what is working and not
working for you in the friendship. Being assertive is usually
the most desirable way to handle this type of conversation
because it is honest, and lets both parties know where they
stand. If you feel your friendship connection with this person
is unsalvageable, and you're better off without them in your
life, remind yourself that ending things is the best decision
in the long run, and that doing so will make room in your life
for more positive, nurturing people.
In life, we all have our fair chance to experience unhealthy
friendships that challenge our minds and hearts to learn
and grow wisely. So as you realize how difficult it can be to
get the space you need without hurting the other person's
feelings, you're already moving in a positive direction just by
choosing to be less active in the friendship while at the
same time, also gaining emotional and physical distance.
Being that you are perfection in progress, it is a healthy idea
to surround yourself with true friends. A true friend is a
person who enhances your life, helps you be the best
person you can be, supports you through challenges in life,
and does nothing less than encourages you to follow your
most glorious dreams.

Penny Phang is one of Canada's nominated Top 40
Under 40 business leaders recognized for her
commitment to provide strategic marketing,
communication and event services with inspiring
creativity and innovation. She is also well known as the
Playboy Special Editions Producer for Western Canada,
and Founder of Penny Best Jewelry. In addition, she
serves as one of the Board of Directors for Global
Reach Organization, and continues to write for her
monthly inspirational lifestyle column, Moments
of Inspiration with Penny at http://www.pennyphang.com